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The Study of the Man inside the Man

13 min readSep 5, 2025

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An interesting story in the contemporary geo political world.

Charting through the life and formation of the human being helps us make informed decisions.

We enter the story when there are a couple of ex-wives and a gorgeous wife and a very successful husband living a happily married life with a large family.

A common thread for their becoming ex-wives from charming wives was infidelity, a common thread

Great :) so we can safely presume that if one person has multiple children from more than one ex wife and continues on the same he can not be considered as morally or emotionally a good human being:)

And if all the ex-wives have a simple complaint of infidelity as the cause of loss of trust that would lead us to understand better.

Infidelity is a significant and often destructive event in a marriage, and it can be a common reason for divorce. While the motivations and outcomes vary widely for each individual, the discovery of a spouse’s cheating often leads to a shared experience of betrayal and a difficult decision about the future of the relationship.

The Psychology of Infidelity 🧠

Infidelity is not always a simple act of a person seeking a new partner. Psychologists and relationship experts point to a variety of underlying factors that can contribute to a person cheating, including:

  • Unmet Needs: A person may seek an affair to fill a void in their primary relationship. This can be for emotional connection, sexual intimacy, or a desire for validation and attention that they feel is lacking at home.
  • Personal Issues: Infidelity can stem from an individual’s own struggles, such as low self-esteem, a history of trauma, or certain mental health issues. For these individuals, an affair can be a way to temporarily feel worthy, powerful, or desired.
  • Thrill and Novelty: Some people cheat because they are bored with the routine of their long-term relationship and crave the excitement and passion of a new romance. This desire for novelty can be a powerful motivator.
  • Revenge: In some cases, a person may cheat as an act of retaliation after their partner has hurt them, either through their own infidelity or another perceived betrayal.

Regardless of the reason, the core of infidelity is often a breakdown in communication and a failure to address problems within the marriage. It’s a symptom of a deeper issue, not the root cause itself.

The Aftermath of Discovery 💔

When a partner discovers an affair, the emotional and psychological fallout can be devastating. It’s often described as a traumatic experience, with the betrayed partner feeling a mix of powerful emotions, including:

  • Betrayal and Loss of Trust: The foundation of the relationship is shattered. The betrayed partner questions everything they thought they knew about their spouse and their shared history.
  • Anger and Hurt: Intense feelings of anger, rage, and profound sadness are common. There’s a deep sense of hurt from the deceit and the broken promises.
  • Shame and Self-Doubt: Many betrayed partners internalize the betrayal, questioning their own worth, attractiveness, and adequacy. They may blame themselves for their spouse’s actions.
  • Symptoms of Trauma: In severe cases, a person may experience symptoms similar to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), such as intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and emotional numbness.

For the spouse who cheated, the experience can also be filled with guilt, shame, and fear of being exposed. They may struggle with the reality of the pain they’ve caused and the potential for losing their family.

The Path Forward

After infidelity is discovered, a couple has to make a difficult decision: to divorce or to try to rebuild the marriage.

  • Divorce: Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. For many, the breach of trust is too great to overcome. Divorce becomes the only way to heal and move on from the betrayal.
  • Reconciliation: While difficult, it is possible for some couples to recover from infidelity and build a stronger, more honest relationship. This requires a commitment from both partners, and often involves:
  • Radical Honesty: The cheating partner must be completely transparent and willing to answer all questions, no matter how painful.
  • Couples Therapy: A professional therapist can provide a neutral space to navigate the complex emotions and communication breakdowns.
  • Rebuilding Trust: This is a long process that requires consistent actions from the cheating partner to show they are trustworthy again.
  • Addressing Underlying Issues: The couple must confront the problems that existed in the marriage before the affair to create a healthier future.

Ultimately, the choice to stay or leave is a deeply personal one, with no right or wrong answer. It depends on the individuals involved, their capacity for forgiveness, and their shared commitment to the future.

A repeated pattern of infidelity, where a person has multiple ex-wives who all cite infidelity as the cause of their divorce, would be described as serial cheating or chronic infidelity.

This goes beyond a one-time mistake and indicates a deeper, habitual pattern of behavior. It suggests that the person has a significant issue with commitment, accountability and the ability to maintain trust in a long-term relationship.

Psychological Traits Associated with a Serial Cheater:

While not every serial cheater has the same profile, there are some common psychological and behavioral patterns that experts often associate with this behavior:

  • Lack of Empathy and Accountability: Serial cheaters often lack the ability to genuinely feel or understand the pain they cause their partners. They may externalize blame, making excuses or justifying their actions rather than taking responsibility for the hurt they inflict.
  • Narcissistic Tendencies: A sense of entitlement, a need for constant admiration, and a belief that they are above the rules are common traits. For a narcissist, cheating can be a way to feed their ego and seek validation from multiple sources.
  • Impulsivity and Thrill-Seeking: The act of cheating can be a compulsive behavior driven by a desire for novelty, excitement, and the thrill of getting away with something. The secrecy and risk can become an addictive cycle.
  • Fear of Intimacy: Ironically, serial cheating can be a way to avoid true emotional intimacy and vulnerability. By keeping their relationships on a superficial level, they avoid the deep connection and potential for emotional pain that comes with a committed partnership.
  • Unresolved Past Issues: The behavior may stem from unresolved trauma, a history of dysfunctional family dynamics, or attachment issues. These deep-seated problems can make it difficult for the person to form healthy, lasting bonds.
  • Low Self-Esteem: While it may seem counterintuitive, some serial cheaters use their conquests to boost their self-esteem and feel desired. This external validation is a temporary fix for a deeper sense of inadequacy.

In such a scenario, the pattern of infidelity is not just a symptom of a single failed marriage; it’s a reflection of an underlying personal issue that repeatedly undermines the foundation of their relationships.Such a pattern of behavior would be explained as a transactional approach to relationships. This is where a person views relationships, including marriage and family, as a series of exchanges where they give something only in order to get something in return. The primary motivation is personal gain, often with an underlying economic or social agenda.

Understanding Transactional Behavior

  • Quid Pro Quo Mindset: The relationship operates on a “this for that” principle. Affection, support, and commitment aren’t given freely but are instead offered in exchange for a specific benefit, such as money, status, or emotional validation.
  • Lack of Emotional Depth: There is a significant lack of genuine emotional intimacy and empathy. The person doesn’t connect with their partner’s feelings but rather sees them as a means to an end. This leads to relationships that feel shallow and inauthentic.
  • Scorekeeping: The individual meticulously keeps a mental (or even literal) ledger of what they’ve given and what they’ve received. Any perceived imbalance is a source of resentment and conflict.
  • Instrumental Use of Others: People in transactional relationships are treated as instruments to achieve personal goals rather than as individuals with their own needs and feelings. They are valued for their utility, not for their intrinsic worth.

A person who repeatedly engages in this behavior, especially when it is coupled with a history of chronic infidelity, may be exhibiting traits of narcissism or a similar personality disorder. Narcissists often use others to maintain a sense of power and control, and their relationships are fundamentally transactional. They seek partners who can provide them with “narcissistic supply” — admiration, status, and validation — and will discard them once that supply is no longer useful.

In this context, the repeated infidelity and multiple marriages are not just a pattern of failed relationships but a cycle of exploitation. Each relationship serves a purpose until the partner is no longer beneficial, at which point they are replaced.

And if such a person wants to grow and thinks of politics as a medium of growth what happens?

The Psychology of a Politician with a Transactional Mindset 🏛️

A person with a transactional and narcissistic personality sees the political arena as a vehicle for personal growth, not public service. This can lead to a specific and often problematic style of leadership and governance:

  • Transactional Leadership: In politics, this style focuses on a system of exchanges. A politician may promise specific benefits (“I’ll give you X if you vote for me”) rather than inspiring a shared vision. This approach can be effective in the short term, but it erodes public trust by treating the electorate as a means to an end. It is about a quid pro quo (“this for that”) rather than a commitment to the public good.
  • A Focus on Power and Status: The drive is to acquire and maintain power, not to use it for the welfare of the people. This individual views the position as a status symbol that confirms their self-importance. They will likely be highly attuned to anything that affects their status, whether it’s public opinion, media coverage, or the actions of their political rivals.
  • Lack of Empathy: A lack of empathy, a hallmark of narcissism, can be particularly dangerous in a political leader. They may be unable to genuinely understand or respond to the suffering of their constituents. This can lead to policies that are beneficial to the leader or their allies but detrimental to the public.
  • Manipulation and Deceit: A history of infidelity and transactional relationships suggests a pattern of manipulation and deceit. In a political context, this can translate to a willingness to lie, break promises, and exploit the system for personal gain. This behavior can create an environment of corruption and cynicism.
  • Inability to Forge Authentic Alliances: While they may form temporary alliances, a person with a transactional personality struggles to build deep, authentic relationships. They see allies as useful only as long as they serve a purpose. This makes long-term, stable governance difficult and can lead to a high turnover of staff and political partner.

Public Perception and Societal Impact 🗳️

The public’s perception of a politician with such a background can be complex and divided.

  • Public Cynicism: A history of marital infidelity and personal misconduct can make the public more cynical about a politician’s character. Voters may see them as untrustworthy, impulsive, and lacking the moral backbone needed to lead. This can damage the public’s faith in the political system as a whole.
  • The “Private vs. Public” Debate: Some voters may argue that a politician’s personal life is irrelevant to their ability to govern. They may believe that competence and policy are more important than personal morality. However, others see a direct link, arguing that a person who can’t be trusted in their private life can’t be trusted with public office.
  • The Allure of the “Strongman”: Ironically, a narcissistic and transactional personality can sometimes be perceived as a sign of strength and decisiveness. Some voters may be drawn to a leader who appears confident and unconcerned with conventional rules, especially during times of social or economic anxiety. This can lead to a political climate where a charismatic and powerful persona is valued more than integrity and a commitment to public service.

In the end will the general public who are not privileged will be put to more hardships as a result of policy decisions favoring personal wealth building?

Yes, policies that prioritize personal wealth building, particularly for the already wealthy, will likely lead to more hardships for the general public, especially those who are not privileged. This is a well-documented consequence of policies that increase wealth inequality.

How Policies Favoring the Wealthy Lead to Hardship

Policies that benefit the wealthy often do so at the expense of the poor and middle class. Here’s how this happens:

  • Regressive Tax Policies: Tax cuts for corporations and high-income earners reduce government revenue. This often leads to cuts in public services that the general public relies on, such as education, healthcare, infrastructure, and social safety nets.
  • Weakened Labor Protections: Deregulation and the weakening of labor unions can lead to stagnant wages, reduced benefits, and less job security for most workers. This makes it harder for people to earn a living wage and build personal wealth.
  • Reduced Social Mobility: When wealth becomes concentrated at the top, it can create a cycle where opportunities are limited for those at the bottom. The rich have more access to better education, healthcare, and political influence, making it more difficult for unprivileged individuals to move up the economic ladder.
  • Political Influence and Cronyism: High-net-worth individuals and corporations often use their wealth to influence politicians through campaign donations and lobbying. This can result in policies that favor their specific interests, such as tax loopholes, subsidies, and favorable regulations, further entrenching their wealth and power.

The Vicious Cycle

This creates a self-reinforcing cycle. As the wealthy gain more political power, they can push for more policies that favor them, which in turn increases their wealth and influence, and so on. At the same time, the general public becomes more economically insecure and politically marginalized. This dynamic can lead to a decline in social cohesion, increased political polarization, and a general erosion of trust in democratic institutions. Ultimately, policies that prioritize private wealth over the public good result in a society where the vast majority of people face increasing hardships to benefit a select few.

Will this lead to the downfall of any great economy?

Yes, historically and economically, policies that consistently favor personal wealth building for a select few at the expense of the general public can contribute to the downfall of a great economy. While the process is complex and doesn’t happen overnight, it erodes the fundamental pillars of a healthy economy and society.

Economic Instability 📉

Extreme wealth inequality can lead to significant economic instability. When a large portion of the population has stagnant wages and declining purchasing power, overall demand for goods and services falls. This can lead to reduced business investment, slower economic growth, and an increased risk of recessions. In contrast, when the middle class is thriving, their spending fuels consumer demand, which in turn encourages businesses to expand and hire, creating a more robust and stable economic cycle.

Erosion of Social Cohesion 🫂

A widening wealth gap can severely damage social cohesion and trust in institutions. When people feel that the system is rigged against them, it can lead to political polarization, social unrest, and a breakdown in public trust. This instability can discourage both domestic and foreign investment, as businesses and individuals are hesitant to invest in an unpredictable environment. Historical examples, such as the period leading up to the French Revolution and the Great Depression, show that extreme inequality often precedes significant social and political upheaval.

Decline in Public Services 🏥

Policies that prioritize tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations often lead to a reduction in government revenue. To compensate, governments may cut funding for critical public services like education, infrastructure, and healthcare. The decline in these services can cripple the economy’s long-term health. A less-educated workforce is less productive and innovative. Crumbling infrastructure makes it harder to transport goods and people. A less healthy population leads to higher healthcare costs and a less able workforce. These cuts weaken the very foundation upon which a great economy is built.

The Failure of “Trickle-Down” Theory 💧

The idea that policies favoring the rich will eventually “trickle down” to benefit everyone has been a subject of great debate. Critics argue that in practice, this wealth often stays at the top. The wealthy may save or invest their extra income in ways that don’t create jobs or raise wages for the general public, such as in financial assets or speculative ventures. This leads to an increasing concentration of wealth and a growing gap between the rich and everyone else, ultimately stifling the broad-based economic growth needed for a country to thrive.

In this world of Block chain how alarming do you see this impacting.

The rise of AI and blockchain presents a new and alarming layer to the issue of wealth inequality and potential economic downfall. These technologies are not neutral; they are powerful tools that can either exacerbate existing inequalities or, if carefully managed, help to address them. The key question is who controls and benefits from them.

The Double-Edged Sword of Blockchain ⛓️

Blockchain, while often touted as a democratizing force, also has the potential to deepen inequalities.

  • Decentralization vs. Centralization: While the original ethos of blockchain was decentralization, many real-world applications have become centralized. Large players, like major exchanges and investment funds, have accumulated significant control over the crypto markets, creating a new class of “crypto rich” while the average person may be left behind.
  • Speculation vs. Utility: The blockchain and cryptocurrency space is highly speculative. For those with existing capital, it can be a source of immense wealth creation. However, for those with limited resources, investing in highly volatile assets is extremely risky and can lead to significant financial loss, further widening the wealth gap.
  • The “Digital Divide” 💻: Access to and understanding of blockchain and crypto technology is not universal. The lack of digital literacy and necessary infrastructure in less developed regions or for lower-income populations means that they are less likely to benefit from the potential financial inclusion and efficiency gains that blockchain can offer. This can exacerbate the divide between the digitally-savvy and those who are not.

The Perfect Storm: A Transactional Political Leader in a Technological Revolution

When a transactional political leader, who views relationships as a series of exchanges for personal gain, is in power during this technological revolution, the risks are compounded.

  • Policies Favoring “Tech Elite”: Such a leader would likely implement policies that favor the wealthy individuals and corporations at the forefront of AI and blockchain. This could include deregulation, tax breaks, and a lack of oversight, all of which would allow these companies to accumulate more wealth and power without any meaningful checks and balances.
  • The Rise of a “Gig” and “Microtask” Economy: AI and blockchain could be used to create an even more fragmented and insecure labor market. Blockchain-based smart contracts could be used to manage a global network of “gig” workers, offering them little to no benefits or job security. This would be a perfect fit for a transactional leader who sees labor as a commodity to be bought and sold at the lowest possible price.
  • Erosion of Trust in Governance: The lack of transparency and accountability that can be characteristic of a transactional politician would be further exacerbated by the complexities of AI and blockchain. The public may not understand how algorithms are making decisions that affect their lives (e.g., in loan applications, hiring, or welfare distribution), and a lack of explainable AI and transparent governance could lead to a complete breakdown of trust in public institutions.

In conclusion, blockchain with a fast growing AI, while holding immense promise for productivity and innovation, also poses a significant threat to economic stability and social cohesion. Without strong, ethical leadership and thoughtful public policy, these technologies could become powerful engines for a future where wealth is even more concentrated, and the vast majority of people are left in a state of growing economic precarity.

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Anand Damani
Anand Damani

Written by Anand Damani

Serial Entrepreneur, Business Advisor and Philosopher of Coexistence. Being resolved and helping others find their truth. www.ananddamani.com RESOLUTION GURU

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